1 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,390 Let me ask you something. You happy with your color? 2 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,893 Fuckin' love my color. Fuckin' mahogany. 3 00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:20,562 - Yeah. You're mahogany. - Yeah. 4 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,855 Hell, yeah. 5 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,607 - You happy with your color? - No. 6 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,360 - Huh? No? - Ah, well, what is it? What is it? 7 00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,111 You're like a... a porridge, 8 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,697 a cream of wheat, a farina, that kind of shit. 9 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,741 - That's what white people's skin tone is. - Right. 10 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,952 - It's just different kinds of hot cereal. - Right, right. 11 00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:37,120 Black people, your skin tone's like, 12 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,289 it depends on the amount of milk you put in the coffee. 13 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,500 Fuckin' right. I'm like a fuckin' Yoo-hoo. 14 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:44,336 - I shake that motherfucker up. I'm shakin' it up. - Yoo-hoo's a good color. 15 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,338 - Fuckin' good color. Shit. - Yeah, Yoo-hoo's a really good color. 16 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,423 Yeah. 17 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,758 What? 18 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,218 There you go. 19 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,803 Somewhere between-- 20 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,263 - Wait, excuse me? - What the-- what the fuck? 21 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,644 Hey. Larry. 22 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,646 - Randi. Yeah. - You got it. 23 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,024 - I'm a friend of Susie's. - I know, I know, I know. Yeah. 24 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,234 Happy New Year. 25 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,235 Eh. 26 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,569 It's a little late, frankly, 27 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,405 for the "Happy New Years," you know? 28 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,407 Why? It just happened a couple of weeks ago, right? 29 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:14,491 Yeah, that's too long. 30 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,118 The statute of limitations 31 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,203 has kind of run out on the "New Years." 32 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,414 - Three days. Plenty. - Three days? 33 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,749 By the way, everything doesn't have to be happy. 34 00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,418 Why does everything have to be happy? 35 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:27,212 - I'm having a pretty good day. - Yeah. Look at you. 36 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,548 - That's, that's huge. - Yeah, I'm about eight months. 37 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,551 If you need some name tips, I'm your guy. 38 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,553 - Yeah. - What would you suggest? 39 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,513 Maybe something, uh, Swedish, perhaps? 40 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,682 Yeah, I'm... my husband is African-American, 41 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:41,351 so I'm not sure that would, I don't know, gel. 42 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,854 You like saying that, don't you. 43 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:47,024 - Do I like saying that he's African-American? - Yeah. 44 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,609 I think you wanted me to know. 45 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,360 Does it change your opinion of me? 46 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,113 In some ways, yes. In some ways, no. 47 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,489 - Okay. - All right. 48 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,658 Enjoy your workout. 49 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,131 What are you doing? 50 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,592 What? 51 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,761 What's with the-- What's with the jogging? 52 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:18,263 I'm... I'm working out. 53 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,014 - Working out? - Yeah. 54 00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:22,809 You, you're jostling the fetus. 55 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,687 You can't-- You can't run in your condition. 56 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,564 Uh, yes, I can. 57 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:28,899 I was advised by my midwife 58 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,484 that I should continue to work out. 59 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,361 Maybe you want to consult your blacksmith. 60 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,196 See what he has to say about it. 61 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:37,324 Oh, I don't, uh, want to get into it with you, but, um... 62 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,826 my fetus, my problem, okay? 63 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,954 I pity that fetus. 64 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,123 {\an8}[Larry] Oh, my God. I can't watch this. 65 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,002 - Happy New Year. - Yeah, Happy New Year. 66 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,476 - Hey, hey, hey. Come on. Come on, man. 67 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,813 - You gotta stay dry. - You're over-talcing here. 68 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,481 - Ugh! - Happy New Year. 69 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,982 Yeah, yeah. 70 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,609 - I couldn't even breathe in there. - Right. 71 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,612 He was putting talc under his arm, 72 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:18,407 on his balls... It was disgusting. 73 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,326 - I mean, who still uses that? - I use that shit all the time. 74 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:25,080 - Can't be good for you. - Not if you're allergic to it. 75 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,790 My Auntie Rey put some of that shit on her, 76 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,750 and went into anaphylactic shock. 77 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,836 - Really? - Yeah. Started shakin' and shit. Took her to the ER. 78 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,839 - Man, they had to pump her stomach for nothing. - That's incredible. 79 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,215 Yeah, man. 80 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,634 - Look at this guy in the MAGA hat. - Boy. You don't see... 81 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,929 - You don't see many of those in LA, do you? - You fuckin' don't. 82 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,099 Know what I noticed? No one ever wears those hats on backwards. 83 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,476 If mean, if you're gonna get your ass kicked, you want to see it coming. 84 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:47,978 I like that. 85 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,981 - Yeah. - Mocha-- Mocha Joe's 86 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,649 {\an8}Mocha Joe. I know a Mocha Joe. 87 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,651 - You want some coffee? - Sure. Okay. 88 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,611 - Let's go in here. - Get a little latte. 89 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,196 - Thank you so much. I appreciate it. - Thank you. 90 00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,698 Have a great day. 91 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,784 - Whoa! Blast from the past. - Oh, boy, oh, boy. 92 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,536 - Larry David. Wow. - Mocha Joe! 93 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,122 - Long time, no see, man. What are you doin' here? - Hey! 94 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,206 - What's your name? - Leon. 95 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,125 - Leon. Nice to meet you. - This is unreal. 96 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,002 Do you believe it? Huh? What can I get you guys? 97 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,545 I'll get a-- Do you have scones? 98 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,213 Yeah. Right there. They're beautiful. 99 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,132 Great. I'll have a scone, and a, uh, cup of coffee. 100 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,760 - Cup of coffee and a scone. What about you, Leon? - Let me get a latte. 101 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,887 All right. One scone, a coffee, a latte. 102 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,388 That's $11 .50. 103 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,432 There you go. Keep the change. 104 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,017 Oh, thanks for the tip. Appreciate it. 105 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,021 [Mocha Joe] A latte and a coffee, please. Thank you. 106 00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,314 Mm. 107 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,399 It's a little soft. 108 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,485 What, the scone? 109 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,779 Yeah. Scones are supposed to be hard. This is like a muffin. 110 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:43,366 Well, not really. It's supposed to be fresh. 111 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:44,951 Yeah, fresh hard. 112 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,661 Well, that's a fresh scone. 113 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,539 I'm not quite sure you know what a scone is, Mocha Joe. 114 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,208 - Oh, I know what a scone is. - [Larry] Do you? 115 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:54,085 - Yeah. - You may have a looser definition of scone than I do. 116 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:57,297 I don't think it's really open to interpretation, though. 117 00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,133 You want the scone, or not? 118 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,718 Yeah, I'll keep the scone-slash-muffin. 119 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,055 - So you're gonna keep the scone? - Yeah. Muffin. Yeah. 120 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,348 Enjoy the scone, Larry. 121 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,142 - Hey, you got any Danishes? - Uh, no. 122 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,853 You're fuckin' up. 123 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,730 [Mocha Joe sighs] Next. 124 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,068 Oh, my God. 125 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:21,154 - Look at this table. Do you believe it? - Wow. 126 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,907 - Wow. - Hey, uh, hey, Mocha Joe. 127 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,575 [Mocha Joe] Yeah? 128 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:28,036 - Check out this table. - Yeah? 129 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,330 It's a wobb-- You got a wobbly table, here. 130 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,998 Yeah, well, stop moving it. 131 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,918 Stop moving it? It's-- Every time I, I, I lean on it, 132 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,670 - it's gonna move. - Put your foot on it, like everybody else does. 133 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,630 I'm gonna sit with my foot on the table? 134 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,589 Yeah, that's how you hold it down. The floors are wobbly. 135 00:05:40,714 --> 00:05:43,301 - Mocha Joe, can I give you a little advice? - Yeah. 136 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,470 Nobody likes a wobbly table. 137 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,557 Fastest way to lose customers is wobbly tables. 138 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,267 I got an uncle with a wobbly leg. 139 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,185 I can't stand that motherfucker. 140 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,145 Leaning on shit all the time. 141 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,065 - Hmm. - Two medium cappuccinos. 142 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,484 Aah. 143 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,153 [Larry] Taste your coffee. 144 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:03,947 - Cold. - It's cold. 145 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,198 Hey, man. 146 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,408 - Yeah. - [Larry] Hey, Mocha Joe. 147 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,535 What? 148 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,954 This is cold coffee. 149 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,455 Whoa, whoa. Wait a second. 150 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,583 That coffee is not cold. 151 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,293 - Is your coffee cold? - Your coffee's hot, right? 152 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,086 Look, we don't wanna be fuckin' haters right now, 153 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,462 but this shit is cold. 154 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:21,005 Can, can I get a n-- 155 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:22,841 - Can I get a new cup? - No. 156 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,301 - So you're not gonna give me a new cup. - No. 157 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:25,927 'Cause that's a hot cup of coffee. 158 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,846 It was hot when I gave it to you-- - That's a hot cup of coffee? 159 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,723 It's a hot cup of coffee. It was hot when I gave it to you. 160 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,641 Would you stick your nose in a hot cup of coffee? 161 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,809 Why would you stick your nose-- 162 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:33,894 Because I want to prove to you 163 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,354 that it's cold coffee. Watch this. 164 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,065 That's cold coffee. 165 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,275 - That doesn't prove anything except... - It does. 166 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,194 ...that you're an old, bald nut! 167 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,363 - What'd you say to me? - You heard me. 168 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,365 - Now get out, you old, bald fuck! - With pleasure! 169 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,659 You think I want to sit here with a wobbly table, 170 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,369 - and drink cold black coffee? - Yeah. 171 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,330 - No, thank you. - Yeah, good. Get out. 172 00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:56,541 Hey. Larry might be one or two of those things, but not all three. 173 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,168 Happy New Year, Larry. 174 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,587 Happy New Year, Mocha Joe! 175 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,943 [Alice] Morning, Larry. How are you? 176 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:26,029 - Your dog? - Bogey! 177 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,572 He's eating out of my bowl. 178 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,532 Oh, I just got that bowl from the kitchen. 179 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,451 I thought it was an office bowl. 180 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:32,911 It's an office bowl for humans. 181 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,412 Not for dogs. 182 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,373 I mean, I wash it at the end of the day 183 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,750 with soap and then I dry it, and-- -No, that's not enough. 184 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,044 It needs to be sterilized. I can't, I can't... 185 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,380 share a bowl with a dog. 186 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,717 - Uh, I've got some mail for you. - Ah! 187 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:51,930 - And there's some other stuff. - Wait a second. Wait a second. 188 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:53,682 - Look at this. - Yeah. 189 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,850 - Is that new? - Relatively. 190 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,728 All right, what-- What the hell is that? Why is one eye closed? 191 00:07:58,853 --> 00:07:59,896 Huh? What is all that? 192 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,982 Oh, well, it's kind of personal. I don't-- 193 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,692 I don't share it with everybody. 194 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,110 Yeah, it's very personal. 195 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,070 The whole world can see it, but it's personal. 196 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,030 - Well, it's on my body. - Okay, okay. 197 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,448 Hey, let me ask you something, okay? 198 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,325 If I walked in here with a horn on my head, 199 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,077 would you say, "What are you doing with a horn on your head?" 200 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,204 I'd say, "Oh, I can't tell you. It's personal." 201 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,957 I got the tattoo because of an event in my life, 202 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,875 and it means something special to me. 203 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,168 It's a reminder of that to me. 204 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,045 - It's just for me. - Really? 205 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,173 Then why didn't you put it on your ass? 206 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,803 I have something from the business manager that you need to sign. 207 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,722 Ah. All right. 208 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,808 - Okay. - Uh, it's just... 209 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,102 There's an initial, and a date, 210 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,730 and I think three signatures. 211 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,898 May I? 212 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,484 Oh, what are you doing? That's my shirt. 213 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,194 Well, I was... cleaning my glasses. 214 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,739 You can't clean your glasses with a shirt that I'm wearing 215 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,365 while I'm wearing it. 216 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,868 It's inappropriate. It's crossing a boundary. 217 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,537 - No good? - No good. 218 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,289 Hmm. Okay. 219 00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:10,175 I know. Susie loves this house even more than her last one. 220 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,093 Well, the last one stunk. 221 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,136 [Cheryl] It was too big. 222 00:09:14,261 --> 00:09:18,224 And he called me, uh... He called me old and bald. 223 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,642 - What? - I swear to God. 224 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,311 You know, I'll tell you something. I love coffee, 225 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,271 and I love his coffee, but you're one of my old-- 226 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,856 You are my oldest friend. 227 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,482 I'm gonna boycott that place. 228 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,818 - You're gonna boycott Mocha Joe's? - I'm boycotting. 229 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,820 - Hey! - [Jeff] How about that? 230 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,114 - I'm boycotting Mocha Joe. You can't do that to my friend. - [Larry] Hey. 231 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,116 - Look at this guy. Look at this guy. - That's a friend. 232 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,534 We were in the same hospital together. 233 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,369 - He can't fuck with my friend. - All right! 234 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,497 - I'm gonna get some coffee. - [Larry] Okay. 235 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,248 Enjoy your coffee. 236 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,626 - He's boycotting. - He's boycotting. That's a big move. 237 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,920 - [Jeff] That's a big move, a boycott. - Oh, my God. 238 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,881 Who invited you? You pig. 239 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,175 No, uh, Nancy, that is not Harvey Weinstein. 240 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,303 - I'm so sorry, Jeff. My sister's from out of town. - [Jeff] Oh! 241 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,304 - I'm just, I'm really sorry. - Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so-- 242 00:09:57,429 --> 00:09:59,891 - [Jeff] I'm the host of the party. - Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. 243 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,726 Yes I'm not Harvey Weinstein. 244 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,520 - I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm sorry. - [Jeff] Okay. 245 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,438 He looks like Harvey Weinstein. He looks just like him. 246 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:08,066 - What the hell? - Okay. 247 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:12,654 All the time, women, men-- doesn't matter. 248 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,572 - [Larry] Geez. - And suddenly, I'm this guy. 249 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,158 - Unbelievable. - Unbelievable. 250 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,703 I'm starving. Oh! Pigs in a blanket. 251 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,205 - What's better? - Oh... 252 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,375 I've been following her around all night, but she never has any. 253 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,043 [Jeff] They go fast. 254 00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,295 I don't care how foo-foo the other items are, 255 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,673 - and people love 'em, pigs in a blanket. - Yeah. 256 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:35,051 Larry I am extremely displeased with your behavior. 257 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,261 Ladies and gentlemen, 258 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:40,348 the 16th president of these United States... 259 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,559 - Yeah, yeah. You're funny. - ...Abraham Lincoln. 260 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,227 Let's give him a big round of applause. 261 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,646 - Like you know anything about fashion. - It is such an honor 262 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,940 to be standing near you, Mr. President. 263 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:52,569 This hat is very similar to the one that Kate Middleton wore. 264 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,571 - Okay? You don't know shit. - Oh, really? 265 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,823 - I know you look ridiculous. How about that? - Yeah. Yeah, fine. 266 00:10:56,948 --> 00:11:00,618 You act ridiculous. Why are you harassing my friend Randi at the gym? 267 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,705 Hey, you know what? Somebody has to stand up for that fetus. 268 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,123 You don't know anything about fetuses. 269 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,666 I know you don't go on a treadmill 270 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,376 eight months pregnant. You don't have to be a genius 271 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,420 - to figure that out. - Why not? Why not? 272 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,172 Do you think that's good for fetus? All that jostling? 273 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:15,300 It's not your job to mansplain to Randi! 274 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,177 - Jeff, there's people I want you to meet. - Okay. 275 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,846 "Four score and seven years ago, 276 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:23,266 "our fathers brought forth to this continent 277 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,809 "a new nation, 278 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,602 "conceived in liberty, 279 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:28,813 - dedicated..." - Larry, Happy New Year. 280 00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,148 You're too late. 281 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,025 "Happy New Year." Come on. It's three weeks. 282 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,360 - Isn't it almost a month already? - It's ridiculous. 283 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,654 Ah, look, well, they have nothing to say, these people. 284 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:40,116 - Oh, man. - How do you know it's a happy new year, anyway? 285 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,744 - I can't believe it. - What? 286 00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:46,206 Aw, I missed 'em again. It's unbelievable. 287 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,291 Hey, Larry! Hey! 288 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,458 - Hey. - How you been? 289 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,252 - Good. - Yeah, great to see you. 290 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,545 Shit. That's Rosen-- 291 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:53,838 - Phil Rosenthal. - Phil Rosenthal. 292 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,756 He just talks about his shows all the time. 293 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:59,469 His own show, and how about-- Romano is on 500 times a day. 294 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:00,720 Somebody Feed Phil. 295 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,097 Oh, geez, with all the chaos in the world, 296 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,016 in third-world countries, feed him? 297 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,142 He should be feeding other people. 298 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,894 It should be called Phil Feeds Everybody. 299 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:10,438 - You know what I'm gonna do with him tonight? - What's that? 300 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,357 The Big Goodbye. 301 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,150 I'm employing The Big Goodbye. 302 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,444 - It's the greatest move in history. - How great is The Big Goodbye? 303 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,321 I've been doing it for years, since you taught me. 304 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,073 - You avoid the person all night... - Of course. 305 00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:21,950 And then at the end, when you're about to leave, 306 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,993 you go, "Ah!" You give 'em a big goodbye. 307 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:27,538 - Then they feel good... - Bye! Goodbye and good luck to you and your family. 308 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,083 They're very happy that you spent this time with them 309 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,876 at the end of the night, and... 310 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,586 - and you slip out. - It's genius. 311 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:36,631 Um, are you up for doing our old ventriloquist act? 312 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,758 - I don't know. Susie wants to see it. - Yeah, I'll do it. 313 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,009 - You will? - Yeah. 314 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,427 Okay, good. Can we do it pretty soon? 315 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:42,679 Because I want Ted to see it before he leaves. 316 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,639 - Of course. - Thank you. 317 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,891 Ted. 318 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,768 I'd like to thank Jeff and Susie 319 00:12:49,184 --> 00:12:51,854 - for inviting us into their beautiful home. - I like the other one. 320 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,732 Well, I think the house is very nice. 321 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,698 Did they throw that fish smell in for free? 322 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:08,538 And, and, and look at all our other friends who are kind enough to join us. 323 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:12,542 - There's, there's Ted Danson. - Wow, is he handsome! 324 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,335 He sure thinks so. 325 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,838 Oh! 326 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,799 And how about Susie, our inimitable hostess? 327 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,719 Susie, I love the curtains, 328 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,721 but why did you make a jacket out of it? 329 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,807 Oh! 330 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,684 - Are you having a good time? - A good time? Are you kidding me? 331 00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:34,314 I'm with a bunch of stiffs, the food sucks, the drinks aren't strong enough, 332 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,690 and your hand is up my ass. 333 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,321 Hey. Don't look so down. 334 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,992 Are you mad? 335 00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,410 - Let's kiss and make up. - I'm... 336 00:13:48,535 --> 00:13:52,623 - I'm not gonna kiss a dummy. - I wouldn't. She's got a cold. 337 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,960 Aw. That's the end! 338 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,046 [Jeff] Bravo! 339 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,298 Bravo! Cheryl and Larry. 340 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:03,301 Cheryl and Larry. 341 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,636 What a great audience. Thank you. Thank you. 342 00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:09,098 - Fantastic. Thank you all for coming. - [Susie] I love that bit. 343 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,392 - Thanks for coming. - [Susie] Always loved that bit. 344 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:14,187 - You were very funny. - Thank you. 345 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,814 - I'm sorry, but I gotta catch my plane. - Okay. 346 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,400 Actually, you know what, I better not. I don't wanna catch a cold. 347 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,235 - [Cheryl] Oh, I know. You gotta stay... - I'm sorry. Yeah. 348 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,321 - I'll call you when I land. - ...healthy. Okay. 349 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:24,697 You don't need to call her when you land. 350 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,241 If there's a plane crash, we'll know about it. 351 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,118 - Okay. I'll walk you, Ted. - Thank you, guys. 352 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,454 - [Susie] Thank you for coming. - [Ted] That was a great evening. 353 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,633 Ah! There you are. Finally gotcha. 354 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,343 Sir, I need you to get out of here. 355 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:47,136 Get out of here? What are you talking about? 356 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:49,931 I need you to leave this room 'cause you've been ogling me... 357 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,974 - the entire night. - Ogling you? Are you nuts? 358 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,852 - I, I, I've been ogling the pigs in a blanket. - Am I-- 359 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,270 Oh, my God. Yeah. 360 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,232 {\an8}- Not the first time this has happened. - What? I want one. 361 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,202 Wow. 362 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,789 - Ah. Hey. - Hey. Excuse me. 363 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,791 - Huh? Were we a hit? - We were a hit. 364 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,710 - We were the highlight of this party. - Highlight of the party. 365 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,672 Yeah, I mean, it's a been a while, but we've still got it. 366 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:25,133 - What are-- What are you doing? - I'm gonna go home. 367 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,135 - I'm just getting an Uber. - Uber? 368 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,679 - I'll take you home. - You don't have to do that. 369 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,139 Ah, it's nothing. 370 00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:34,058 Okay. Okay. Thank you. That's-- -Um, just give me... 371 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,685 Give me two minutes. 372 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,770 Okay. All right. Thanks. 373 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,231 Are you kidding? 374 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:43,401 I can't believe I didn't get a chance to talk to you all night, 375 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,111 and now I'm on my way out. 376 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,572 - What a shame. - You giving me The Big Goodbye? 377 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,866 - The Big Goodbye? What are you-- What are you talking about? - Big Goodbye. 378 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,410 Where you avoid me all night, and then you think you can 379 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,745 cure it by having a Big Goodbye. I know. I've been around. 380 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:57,582 - I wasn't giving you a Big-- I never heard of the Big Goodbye. - It seems like a Big Goodbye. 381 00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,709 No, it wasn't. It was just a normal goodbye. 382 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,419 - That's a normal goodbye. - Yeah? 383 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,378 - Yeah. - Really? 384 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,880 Yeah. I wasn't trying to avoid you. 385 00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,339 Are you kidding? Why would I avoid you? 386 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,008 Have lunch with me Wednesday? 387 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,385 We have a lot to talk about. Listen, 388 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,220 we're doing Raymond in Portugal. 389 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,681 Yeah. Everybody Loves Joam. 390 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,850 It's fantastic. I get to go. 391 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,727 And then I have the whole Somebody Feed Phil show. 392 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,563 I want you to do my show. I want to go to Ethiopia with you. 393 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,940 - Ethiopia. - Ethiopia's great. 394 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,358 I don't think I'm running off to Ethiopia-- 395 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,902 Sure, you eat with your hands. It's fantastic. 396 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,445 Everybody shares, and, and the thing-- -I... I... 397 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,322 - I don't like to leave the continent, you know. - No? 398 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:30,615 - Nah. - All right. You know what? 399 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,533 We'll start lunch Wednesday. We'll see where it goes. 400 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,785 Say yes to me and you can go. 401 00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:37,497 - Okay. - Okay. 402 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:38,831 [Larry] You know, did I ever tell you 403 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:41,250 that I once did a, uh, premature Big Goodbye? 404 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,503 So what does that mean? You said goodbye and then you didn't leave? 405 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,796 I did a Big Goodbye and then I didn't-- -Come on. 406 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,716 - And I didn't leave. - And what did they do? They were mad? 407 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,552 - I ran into her in the kitchen about an hour later. - Come on. 408 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,347 And what do you say? What do you even say? 409 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,516 She said, "I thought you left." I said, "Well, you know. 410 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,519 I got, uh... something happened." I don't know. 411 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,145 I made up a story. 412 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,856 I, but I, I can't believe that... 413 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,398 that he knew about the Big Goodbye. 414 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,276 That was unbelievable to me. 415 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:10,029 Well, I can't believe that you kissed me when you knew I had a cold. 416 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,739 That was pretty unbelievable. 417 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,032 Yeah. You... 418 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:17,161 I would do it again. 419 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,933 [Cheryl] Wow, Larry. 420 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,977 What are we doing? 421 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,938 By the way, before we get into that, 422 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,065 are you aware that you have a wobbly table here? 423 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:49,402 Look at this. Look at this table. It's unbelievable. 424 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,905 - I, I don't know how you can go to bed at night. - Yeah it doesn't bother me. 425 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,699 If all tables in your house wobbled, 426 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,867 you could live like that? You could in a wobble-house? 427 00:17:56,993 --> 00:18:01,163 We need to talk about Ted. We need to talk about everything that just happened here. 428 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,957 - What? - What? 429 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,084 - What are you so... - Oh... 430 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,711 I'm, I'm your ex-husband. 431 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,130 Ted is such a good person. 432 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,048 No, he's not such a good person, okay? 433 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:14,051 You don't do that. You don't date a friend's ex-wife. 434 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,928 I mean, it's crazy. 435 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,015 - You know what it is? - Now... what? 436 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:22,768 I think when I'm with you, it makes me feel... 437 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,813 - ...better about myself? - Morally superior. 438 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,440 - Yes. - Yes. 439 00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,066 - I hear that a lot. Yeah. - Yeah. So, I'm not perfect, 440 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,902 - but at least I'm better than you. - You're better than me. 441 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,237 I can relate to what you're saying, 442 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,196 'cause I don't, I don't feel that way with people. 443 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:38,576 - I feel morally inferior to people. - Yeah. 444 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,787 But I feel that way with animals 'cause they're generally so stupid, 445 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,749 and I can-- especially insects, I can crush them. 446 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,959 You know, and, and they eat each other. 447 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,545 I mean, they're crazy, animals. So, yeah. 448 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,089 I feel smarter and morally superior to them. 449 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:57,219 - Hey. Uh... Let me ask you something. - Yeah? 450 00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,431 Is there any chance that... 451 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,018 we might meet up again? 452 00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,354 We'll see. 453 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,938 We'll see. 454 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:11,067 - You can't stay here. - I'm gonna tell you something, okay? 455 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,194 - If we ever got back together... - Yeah. 456 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,656 ...and somehow this table appeared on, on our bedside... 457 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:19,700 - Yeah? - ...it would be fixed immediately. 458 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,744 - Immediately. - Oh, my God. 459 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,538 - [Larry] I could not live with a wobbly table. - [Cheryl] Larry, please. 460 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,082 - Go. - [Larry] Okay. 461 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,921 Ha-ha! 462 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,798 - What? - Where the fuck you been at? 463 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,465 - What are you? My mother? - Fuck yeah, I am. 464 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,551 All right, I was at a party, okay? I was at Jeff's party. 465 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,428 - That party was over a long time ago. - Huh? 466 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,515 Yeah. This right here-- This right here? It's called tappin' hours. 467 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,809 This is the hours when people are tappin' ass. 468 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,435 I'm not tappin'. I'm not tappin'. 469 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,479 Older white men should not be out this fuckin' late. 470 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:51,482 There's no late-night yacht club, or late-night garage sales 471 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,275 and shit like that. You out here fuckin'. 472 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,902 When I'm tappin', I always tell you. 473 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,821 I come home and spread the fuckin' news. 474 00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,280 You wanna know who I'm tappin'? You wanna know who I'm tappin'? 475 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,532 Who the fuck you tappin'? 476 00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:03,411 [Larry] I can't get out of it. It's Phil Rosenthal. He's just-- 477 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,162 What do you do? How many times can you say no? 478 00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,164 You couldn't do the Big Goodbye? 479 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,291 I did the Big Goodbye. He saw right through it. 480 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:10,626 Ah! You know what I'll do? 481 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,211 I'll call you in the middle of lunch. 482 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,588 Say it's an emergency and you gotta go. 483 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,465 I did that the last time I had lunch with him. 484 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,342 Oh, boy. That guy's relentless. 485 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:21,387 Hey, Lar, that was some party last night, huh? 486 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,973 - Yeah, it was a great party. - You had a good time? 487 00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,808 - I did. I had a nice time. - Yeah. 488 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,102 So you drove Cheryl home? 489 00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,354 Yep. 490 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,689 That was very nice of you. 491 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,066 Considering Ted's out of town-- -Yeah. I'm a nice guy. 492 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,693 - Yeah. - Yeah. I'm a nice guy. 493 00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,695 So, what, did you just drop her off, or-- 494 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,739 - Yeah. Pretty much. - Hmm. 495 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:43,701 Dropped her off. Said good night. Went on my merry way. 496 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,202 Mm-hmm. 497 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:49,874 Is there something you would like to know, or-- -No, no, no. 498 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,084 Something you're not saying? Um... 499 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,753 You know, can I person not just ask 500 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,422 - a, a normal question? - No, they're not normal questions. 501 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:59,215 - There's a lot of implications. A lot of implications. - [Larry] You're fishing-- 502 00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:01,260 You're on a little fishing expedition. 503 00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:02,595 You know, you two are something. 504 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,221 - You two make crap up-- - We're something? 505 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:05,765 You know what? You're something. 506 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,475 Don't eat all the leftovers. We need them for dinner. 507 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,685 - [Jeff] Sure, I won't. - You're something. 508 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:13,314 - I'll eat whatever the fuck I want. - That's right. 509 00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:14,940 Hey. Did you sleep with Cheryl? 510 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:16,150 - Yeah. - You did? 511 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,111 - Yeah. Listen. - Ah. 512 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,614 You cannot say anything to Susie. Cannot. 513 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,866 Under any circumstances. Cheryl swore me to secrecy. 514 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,159 She didn't want me to tell you. 515 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,036 But I had to. I couldn't-- How could I not? 516 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,996 I'm a human being, for God's sake. 517 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,414 - I think it's great. - Right? 518 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,875 Yes. Wha-- What are you hoping to get out of it, though? 519 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,419 I'm hoping to get back together, but... 520 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:38,547 - I'll be surprised if I see her again. - Hmm. 521 00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:40,674 We on for golf on Saturday? 522 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,176 Yeah. Um... 523 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,386 Arnie Norton asked if he could play. 524 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:47,097 I'm not playing with him. He's a Trump supporter. 525 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,433 - Never play with a Trump supporter. - Really? 526 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,268 See him around town with that hat. 527 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,145 "Make America Great Again." 528 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:54,939 I don't need that crap. 529 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,651 He just-- He makes me want to not be anywhere near him. 530 00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:03,321 I don't know. You can check with Carl. See if he wants to play. 531 00:22:03,446 --> 00:22:04,615 I gotta go. 532 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:10,871 - [Phil] Oh, hello, there. - Hi. 533 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,290 Hi. I'm Phil Rosenthal. I have a twelve o'clock. 534 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,209 Oh, yes. Mr. David's already here. 535 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,711 - He is? Wow. - Yes. Right this way. 536 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:20,256 - Very impressive. - He was early. 537 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:25,261 Enjoy. 538 00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:27,555 [Larry] Hey, Phil! 539 00:22:28,263 --> 00:22:31,600 Good to see you. Sit. Sit down. Sit down. 540 00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,563 Boy, I'm so glad we did this. It was such a good idea. 541 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,189 You, you were definitely right. 542 00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:38,732 I'm, I'm starving. I hope this place is good. 543 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,693 Yeah, yeah, it's great. It's big portions 544 00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,862 on the food and everything. It's really... 545 00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:45,239 a fantastic place. Um... 546 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,282 You know what else? I've been thinking... 547 00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:49,869 Really thinking about this Ethiopia thing. 548 00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:52,121 Yeah, actually, I heard that we have some budget cuts, 549 00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:55,875 and Ethiopia's a little... ex-expensive to shoot in. 550 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,626 Wasn't that one of the shithole countries? 551 00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:59,837 I can't remember if that was on the list or not. 552 00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:02,673 - Oh, look. I'm getting a thing. - [Larry] Oh! 553 00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,509 Oh, yeah. Oh, look at that. Um, uh... 554 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,053 My son's flight, uh, got in early. 555 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:10,556 - And I gotta get him. I gotta go get him. - Oh! Really? 556 00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:13,893 - Yeah, no, really. - Let's... Send, send an Uber or something. 557 00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:16,729 He needs to see me because he has a little anxiety. 558 00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:18,230 No, no! You know what? Phil... 559 00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:21,066 No, no. We'll, we'll, we'll... We'll... something. 560 00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:25,571 Ah! 561 00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:27,406 Fill her up. 562 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,284 - Ah! Arigato! - Yes. 563 00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:33,746 - Arigato! - All right. Two seats at the sushi bar. 564 00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:43,839 You know what? Actually, I think we'd prefer to sit at a table, please. 565 00:23:43,964 --> 00:23:45,633 [Larry] Huh. 566 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,761 Sad. 567 00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:51,013 Very sad. Sad. 568 00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:57,978 - Hey! What the fuck are you doing? - Whoa. 569 00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,689 - Oh, God. Oh, God. - Motherfucker! What the fuck? 570 00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:02,441 What are you trying to do, man? 571 00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:05,569 - What the fuck are you doing? You little fucker! - Oh, God. Oh, God. 572 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:07,988 - I'm sorry, I didn't see you. - What the fuck? 573 00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:10,657 - I'm sorry, I didn't see you! - I'm ought to rip you outta that fuckin' car! 574 00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:13,869 - You little shit. - I'm sorry. I didn't see you. 575 00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:16,330 Oh. Just be more careful next time, okay? 576 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:19,416 Will do. Will do. Okay. Thank you. 577 00:24:23,671 --> 00:24:25,631 ♪ Now, now... ♪ 578 00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:29,218 ♪ I want my coffee and my Danish right now, now, now ♪ 579 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:49,029 What are you-- What are you doing here? 580 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,990 What do you mean what am I doin' here? 581 00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:53,075 - Come here. Come out. I want to talk to you. - You come here. 582 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,202 - No, come on. Come on out here. - No, you come. 583 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:57,454 - Come on. I want to talk to you. Come on. - I'm not leaving. You come. 584 00:24:57,579 --> 00:25:00,290 - You come. You come. - Aw, fuck it. 585 00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:04,169 What are you doing here? You said you were gonna boycott this place. 586 00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:05,796 I am boycotting this place. 587 00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:07,881 Oh, this is a boycott? Sitting here drinking coffee? 588 00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,758 That's a boy-- That's quite a boycott. 589 00:25:09,883 --> 00:25:12,594 I told you, for the rest of my dying days, 590 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,138 I will never come to this place with you. 591 00:25:15,263 --> 00:25:16,974 - Ever. - That's not what you said. 592 00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:19,226 I said I was-- -You said you're boycotting this place. 593 00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:21,561 And you're never coming back here. You didn't say with me. 594 00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:23,647 What are you? My Jewish puppet master? 595 00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:25,607 I can do whatever the fuck I want alone, 596 00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,776 - but with you, I will never come in here. - Look! 597 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,278 I swear on my life. 598 00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:30,654 Who the fuck needs you for a boycott 599 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:33,240 if I'm boycotting already? I don't need you 600 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:34,575 to boycott. You said you're boycotting, 601 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:35,951 - but you didn't boycott. - Are you done? 602 00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:37,661 I-- I don't understand. I si-- 603 00:25:37,786 --> 00:25:39,705 I don't understand you. 604 00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:42,499 Oh, my God. Now she's drinking coffee! 605 00:25:42,624 --> 00:25:44,417 - [Richard] Who's that? - [Larry] It's unbelievable. 606 00:25:44,752 --> 00:25:46,587 - [Richard] Who? - Susie's friend. I saw her in the gym the other day. 607 00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:48,964 She's eight months pregnant. She was running on a treadmill. 608 00:25:49,757 --> 00:25:51,759 She has no regard for this fetus. 609 00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:53,427 Now she's drinking coffee. 610 00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:57,181 This coffee, by the way, is unbelievable. It's fantastic. 611 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,016 - Is it hot? - It's very hot. 612 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:02,102 - Let me see that for a second. - Hey, don't touch my-- I don't like-- Don't touch it. 613 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,063 What the-- Hey, stop it! 614 00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:06,648 What are you, a fuckin' goose? 615 00:26:06,773 --> 00:26:09,026 Okay. That's not hot coffee, okay? 616 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,195 If that was hot coffee, I, I would have burned my nose. 617 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,198 Who asked for a nose test? I didn't want a nose test! 618 00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:16,116 - What, are you outta your mind? - Not hot. 619 00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:17,576 What the hell is going on here? 620 00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:19,703 - Is he bothering you, Mr. Lewis? - Yes, he's bothering me. 621 00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,789 - Oh, really? - [Richard] Yeah, really. 622 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,333 You know what, Larry? Get out. 623 00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:26,085 - Huh. - This is what it's come to. 624 00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:29,379 You're banned. For life. I never wanna see you in here again. 625 00:26:29,505 --> 00:26:33,175 - Is that so? - Yeah. You're banned. Banned! Get out! 626 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,302 With pleasure. 627 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,307 Mark my words, Mocha Joe, 628 00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:43,018 and mark them well. 629 00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:45,979 I don't know how, and I don't know when, 630 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,357 but I will exact vengeance. 631 00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:50,150 As God is my witness, 632 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:53,904 I will bring you to the brink of extinction, 633 00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:56,031 or I will die trying. 634 00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:59,409 - Happy New Year, Mocha Joe! - Happy New Year, Larry. 635 00:26:59,535 --> 00:27:00,828 Hey, Happy New Year, man. 636 00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,621 Happy New Year. 637 00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:18,595 Hello Larry David's office. 638 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,263 Hi, my name is Valerie Ashburn. 639 00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:21,723 I'd like to speak to Larry David. 640 00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:23,433 Yes, may I ask what this is regarding? 641 00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:27,563 Sure. This is regarding him sexually assaulting me at a party. 642 00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:30,648 Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. What-- 643 00:27:30,773 --> 00:27:32,526 What happened? 644 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:33,694 I was catering at a party. 645 00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:36,155 Larry was molesting me with his eyes 646 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,491 the entire night. And then when I went into a pantry, 647 00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:41,493 he followed me in, cornered me, 648 00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:43,662 and he grabbed my breast. I was lucky to get out of there. 649 00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:47,332 - You know he did something like that to me, too? - [Valerie] No. 650 00:27:47,457 --> 00:27:49,667 - Oh, my God. - [Alice] Yeah. 651 00:27:49,792 --> 00:27:51,295 Everything was fine. And one day he... 652 00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:53,088 asked about a tattoo I have on my arm, 653 00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,506 and I wouldn't tell him what it meant, 654 00:27:54,631 --> 00:27:55,674 and then he got obsessive about it. 655 00:27:56,008 --> 00:27:57,259 And why did I have it on my arm, 656 00:27:57,843 --> 00:27:59,761 and why didn't I have it on my butt, somewhere private. 657 00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:01,555 Okay. So this is a pattern. 658 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,765 [Alice] Oh, yeah. And that's just the beginning. 659 00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:19,448 What the fuck! 660 00:28:20,574 --> 00:28:21,909 Fuck! 661 00:28:29,291 --> 00:28:30,751 Shit. 662 00:28:31,501 --> 00:28:34,171 Damn it. frickin' dog. 663 00:28:35,005 --> 00:28:37,925 And he grabbed my shirt to wipe his glasses. 664 00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:40,260 Hold on. I have to shut the door. 665 00:28:45,182 --> 00:28:47,809 - Larry? - [Larry] I'll be out in a second. 666 00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:49,561 Okay. 667 00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:57,027 - What's with the robe? - [Larry] Oh. 668 00:28:57,152 --> 00:28:59,655 'Cause I spit cereal up all over my shirt 669 00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:01,657 because there was dog hair in it. 670 00:29:01,782 --> 00:29:03,575 - Disgusting. - [Larry] Right? 671 00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:06,662 So... what's going on? What do you... 672 00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:09,581 What, what are you doing here? You haven't been here in a year. 673 00:29:09,706 --> 00:29:11,250 What the fuck is going on with you? 674 00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:13,377 - What are you talking about? - You're wearing a MAGA hat 675 00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:15,045 at a sushi restaurant? 676 00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:17,506 - Is that true? - Well, I did have the hat on, yeah. 677 00:29:17,631 --> 00:29:20,008 - What, are you pro-Trump? - No, no. 678 00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:21,468 Look, I got this idea to wear that hat 679 00:29:21,802 --> 00:29:23,971 - so I wouldn't have to have lunch with Phil Rosenthal. - Mm. 680 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,932 And it worked like a charm. He saw me in the hat and he left the restaurant. 681 00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:28,892 - It was amazing. - I'm not surprised. 682 00:29:29,017 --> 00:29:30,769 You know what? It's really comin' in handy. 683 00:29:30,894 --> 00:29:33,105 Yeah, 'cause no one's gonna wanna be anywhere near you. 684 00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:35,774 Exactly! It's, it's a great people repellent. 685 00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,777 - You know, look. When you're a celebrity 686 00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:41,488 you can do anything you want. You can grab 'em by the pussy-- 687 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,699 - What did you say? - What? 688 00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:45,325 Why are you wearing a bathrobe? 689 00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:48,954 - And that hat! - Oh, no, no! No, I-- 690 00:29:49,079 --> 00:29:51,623 Oh, my God! You're friends with that monster? 691 00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:52,749 - No, I'm-- - [Alice] No! 692 00:29:53,083 --> 00:29:54,626 - No, no, no, no, no! - No! No, no, I'm just-- 693 00:29:54,751 --> 00:29:56,044 [Alice] I'm getting a lawyer! 694 00:29:56,169 --> 00:29:57,462 No! What? Hey! What? 695 00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:59,006 No! I'm in the bathrobe 696 00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:00,507 'cause your fuckin' dog got hair 697 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:01,758 all over my cereal bowl, 698 00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:03,468 and that's not Weinstein! 699 00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:28,201 - I'll take it. - It's all yours. 700 00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:41,465 What are you doin' here, Larry? 701 00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:43,216 I thought I told you to get out and not come back. 702 00:30:43,342 --> 00:30:45,969 Yeah, so you did, Mocha Joe. So you did. 703 00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:47,596 I've merely come to inform you 704 00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:50,307 that I have leased the place next door, 705 00:30:50,432 --> 00:30:52,934 where I'll be opening up a coffee shop 706 00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:55,062 exactly the same as yours. 707 00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:57,773 Only charging much lower prices. 708 00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:59,900 All for the express purpose 709 00:31:00,025 --> 00:31:01,902 of taking you down. 710 00:31:02,027 --> 00:31:03,987 Knock yourself out. I welcome the competition. 711 00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:06,615 - Yeah. - I'm not afraid of you. You don't have the beans. 712 00:31:06,740 --> 00:31:09,785 I'm the only guy in Los Angeles who has these beans. 713 00:31:09,910 --> 00:31:11,953 - Yeah. I'll get beans. - Oh, you won't find better beans 714 00:31:12,079 --> 00:31:13,789 - than my beans. - I'll get better beans. 715 00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:15,290 - No such thing as better beans. - There are better beans, 716 00:31:15,415 --> 00:31:17,084 - Mocha Joe. - No better beans, Larry. 717 00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:19,336 - I will find better beans. - Mm-hmm, good luck. 718 00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:20,837 See ya, Larry. 719 00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:23,340 - You know what I'm gonna call it? - What? 720 00:31:23,465 --> 00:31:26,093 Latte Larry's. 721 00:31:51,868 --> 00:31:53,412 Can I come in? 722 00:31:54,830 --> 00:31:56,206 Y-yes. 723 00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:57,582 - Yes, yes. - Are you sure? 724 00:31:58,041 --> 00:32:00,627 Yeah, I'm positive. I'm a little surprised, is all. 725 00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:02,212 - Come in. - Okay. 726 00:32:02,337 --> 00:32:03,422 - Wow. - Well... 727 00:32:03,547 --> 00:32:05,257 Holy cow. I can't-- 728 00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:07,300 - I can't believe you're here. - You told me, right? I mean-- 729 00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:09,469 Um... 730 00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:13,432 Give me two minutes. 731 00:32:13,557 --> 00:32:15,392 Two minutes. I'll be right back. Stay right there. 732 00:32:27,696 --> 00:32:29,906 - Fuckin' my movie up. What you want? - I need that talcum powder. 733 00:32:30,031 --> 00:32:33,410 - What you got goin' on? - It's an emergency. Get me the talcum powder! 734 00:32:33,535 --> 00:32:34,578 [Leon] Fuck! 735 00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:36,997 Who you tappin'? 736 00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:38,540 Cheryl. 737 00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:43,211 What? My man Larry David re-tappin' that ass! 738 00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:49,759 Ooh. 739 00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:52,220 Ooh. 740 00:32:56,725 --> 00:32:59,728 [Cheryl gasps] Did you powder down there? 741 00:32:59,853 --> 00:33:02,522 - No good? - I'm allergic. 742 00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:05,525 Oh! Oh, my God. 743 00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:07,319 Oh, my God. 744 00:33:07,444 --> 00:33:08,904 Oh, my God. 745 00:33:09,029 --> 00:33:11,615 Oh! Call 9-1 -1! 746 00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:14,284 Easy. 747 00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:16,411 Hey. Jesus, slow down. 748 00:33:16,536 --> 00:33:19,539 - What happened? - Oh, she, uh, swallowed some talcum powder, 749 00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:21,249 and is having an allergic reaction to it. 750 00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:22,626 Did she ingest anything else? 751 00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:27,005 Kind of a personal question, don't you think? 752 00:33:30,884 --> 00:33:32,344 So sorry! 753 00:33:34,888 --> 00:33:36,515 Oh, my God. You look so much better. 754 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,100 - Do I? - Oh. Are you kidding? 755 00:33:39,226 --> 00:33:41,019 I couldn't even look at you before. I mean, it was... 756 00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:44,231 really, like, hideous. You looked... disgusting. 757 00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:45,982 I could barely glance at you. 758 00:33:46,107 --> 00:33:47,776 Yeah, because of you. 759 00:33:47,901 --> 00:33:49,319 - Yeah. - You're the one that 760 00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:51,363 put the talcum powder-- Uh, I'm allergic, and you-- 761 00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:53,740 - It's because of you. - Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 762 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,784 Yeah. But you know, I was thinking, 763 00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:58,745 if that happened when we were married and your face... 764 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:01,289 for some reason, stayed that way, 765 00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:03,416 what would I have done? 766 00:34:03,917 --> 00:34:05,710 What do you mean what would you have done? 767 00:34:05,835 --> 00:34:08,588 Well, I mean, could I have lived with you looking like that? 768 00:34:08,713 --> 00:34:10,924 You're such an asshole. 769 00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:14,261 You are such... I mean, I'm, I'm fighting for my life, 770 00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:16,388 and this is what you're... Susie? 771 00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:17,681 What are you guys doing here? 772 00:34:18,223 --> 00:34:19,683 What are you-- What are you doing here? 773 00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:22,102 [Susie] Randi had contractions, and... 774 00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:24,563 She's walking around the halls trying to induce, 775 00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:27,399 'cause nothing's happening, so I thought I'd come and keep her company. 776 00:34:27,524 --> 00:34:30,193 - Randi's here? - Yeah. Cheryl, what happened? 777 00:34:30,318 --> 00:34:33,321 - She got stung by a wasp. - I had an allergic reaction to shellfish. 778 00:34:34,531 --> 00:34:35,782 Okay. 779 00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:39,244 I knew it. I knew something was going on with you two. 780 00:34:39,369 --> 00:34:40,870 I could smell it. 781 00:34:40,996 --> 00:34:43,039 That night at our house. The ventriloquist. 782 00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:45,917 He drove you home. Something's been going on here. 783 00:34:46,042 --> 00:34:47,585 I knew it. I knew it! 784 00:34:47,710 --> 00:34:49,671 Bravo! 785 00:34:49,796 --> 00:34:51,256 Bravo, Poirot. 786 00:34:51,381 --> 00:34:53,091 [Cheryl] Oh, no. Hey. 787 00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:57,262 - Ted is in the garage. - [Larry] What? 788 00:34:57,387 --> 00:34:59,180 - He's on his way up. - [Larry] What? 789 00:34:59,306 --> 00:35:00,724 You-- You can't be here. 790 00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:02,309 You better leave. You better leave, Larry. 791 00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:04,185 How does he-- How does he know you're in the hospital? 792 00:35:04,311 --> 00:35:05,645 Because he just flew in from San Francisco 793 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:07,063 and he texted me when he landed. I... 794 00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:08,940 Because he's her significant other, 795 00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:10,567 and you're her significant nothing! 796 00:35:10,692 --> 00:35:13,069 - Just keep your fuckin' trap shut! - [Susie] Go! 797 00:35:14,696 --> 00:35:15,614 Oh. 798 00:35:16,573 --> 00:35:18,325 Hey! 799 00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:20,452 Just slow down! 800 00:35:21,161 --> 00:35:22,871 Excuse me, sir! 801 00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:30,253 - God! - [Larry] Oh! Oh, my God! 802 00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:32,088 - Larry! - You? 803 00:35:32,213 --> 00:35:35,258 Are you fucking kidding me, you piece of shit? 804 00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:37,302 {\an8}Okay, if anything happens to this baby, 805 00:35:37,427 --> 00:35:38,678 it's gonna be your fault. 806 00:35:39,054 --> 00:35:40,555 Oh, please. After what that fetus has been through, 807 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,056 this'll be a day at the beach. 808 00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:44,601 Happy New Year!